Forget and Forget

In most cases a bed is used for sicknesses, resting, dinning, or sex or at least self-created instances. Right now I’m on a bed, I have a feeling, and it has symptoms but I’m not sick, my eyes are restful but my soul is energetic, I’m not tired, my stomach is twisting, I’m not edacious, it’s an excitement, but I’m not horny. Maybe it’s the jazz that Amy Winehouse is composing in my starving ears, the starving that my soul chronically lusts for every day. Amy has a voice that sings to my ideas, to my heart, my memory, to the crazy thoughts my brain blue prints a head of time so that they are performed as rehearsed. She is the root of imagination. When I forget I remember with her. This imaginative character that God gave me to play on the musical “Earth”,I get frustrated with, all the time. This character forgets, too much, WAY TOO MUCH. He forgets his own creations, the date, and the worst his appointments. He is me. I don’t know what it is about my memory, since I was a boy, I use to get spanked for forgetting, parent’s used my strongest pet peeve, scapegoats, I had “ADD”. What is ADD? Stupid, I just down right forget and can’t focus, plain and simple. Back when people forgot they got a planner, when they couldn’t focus they took Ginkgo Biloba. Call me old school but I’m one of them. I’ve been taking Vitamin’s for a while now and it works, almost barely, when I drink them I think of them going in my penis, it’s uncomfortable. The discomfort could be that they’re almost as dense as a football. Whatever it is, it’s uncomfortable, what’s most uncomfortable is the problem, forgetfulness. It has always been a weakness, I practice exercising my memory everyday through mediation, yoga, or writing, it’s persistent, doesn’t want to go. Why am I telling you this? One easy reason is just in case I repeat something in a blog, it could be because I fuckin’ forgot that I remembered the blog idea before getting it again, in that case archive this blog under Jaycee’s a Dumb Ass in pink paper so that it’s easy to find. Fuck these cookies are good my mom rocks. Second reason is Friday, my manager scheduled me an extra again for the same episode , it was an easy day, same as next week, Monday. Set alarm for the day that I thought I read. Got up Tuesday morning at 7a.m. to remember that I forgot it wasn’t Monday. DAMYN, I texted him, and he totally understood, I’m beginning to trust. How can I forget like that, my technique is not to buy a scheduler and force my brain to remember. Looks to me that I’ll be a proud owner of a planner tomorrow at 12pm (too bad I can’t write that in, hopefully I’ll remember). Most places take cash, thank god I carry change now. I can’t take those chances anymore because this is a blog full of dates and times. This planner can’t be any planner, it needs poise, sass, a touch of Jay, and a lot of days, days that will need lots of writing, writing in acting gigs, shoots, and rehearsals until it’s full. Tomorrow will be another step towards getting the supplies I need for this countdown. Until then it's Ginkgo tablets and Winehouse habits.