hiii

For the first time right now, I got on the train, and felt like I'd been here all of my life. I was born in New York City and was just smiling at all the changes. What I remembered growing up in the city, how I remember where I was on the day of the towers, and how I remember the kids in Brooklyn that I grew up with. I think that when I was growing up my vividly unimaginably realistic dreams would build a life in Manhattan. I feel like I grew with these buildings, my mind is just as old as them, we use to cook for the construction workers, can hear them speak to me through my childhood, comforting my fear of flying, and now telling me not to be so nervous. I'm nervous, what should I do? but what's to worry I grew up a New Yorker, I built this city remember, and now I'm thinking of old construction stories oh shit I have grandchildren. STOP BLABBERING!!!! I'm on the train, and I feel at home. I always say if this doesn't work that I'de move to London and study theater there, can you imagine me there? *british accent* I don't know friend. yeah I don't know too. All I know is that I'm on my way to become a better learner, these are just the baby steps, I'm was just nervous now I'm calm, I can breath, I'm smiling, ampt that I'm using my new planner. *british accent* was it the one you forgot to look at this morning love? shit that's right that's why I'm behind, I have work today but I'm never nervous about that, okay wait...why am I even on the train right now?...wow I literally have to think. Oh that's right...I have an audition.